ANTI CHAIN-LETTERS

Anti Chain-letters

>>>>>>>>> > Hello,
>>>>>>>>> > My name is Basmati Kasaar. I am suffering from rare and
>>>>>>>>> > deadly diseases, poor scores on final exams, extreme
>>>>>>>>> > virginity, fear of being kidnapped and executed by genital
>>>>>>>>> > electrocution, and guilt
>>>>>>>>>for not
>>>>>>>>> > forwarding out 50 billion fucking chain letters sent to me
>>>>>>>>> > by
>>>>>>>>>people, who
>>>>>>>>> > actually believe that if you send them on, then that poor
>>>>>>>>> > 6 year
>>>>>>>>>old girl in
>>>>>>>>> > Arkansas born with a breast on her forehead will be able
>>>>>>>>> > to
>>>>>>>>>raise
>>>>>>>>>enough
>>>>>>>>> > money to have it removed before her redneck banjoplaying
>>>>>>>>> > parents
>>>>>>>>>sell her
>>>>>>>>> > off to a travelling freak show cirkus.
>>>>>>>>> > Or: Ooooh, look here! If I scroll down this page and make
>>>>>>>>> > a
wish,
>>>>>>>>>I'll get
>>>>>>>>> > laid by every Playboy model in the magazine! What a bunch
>>>>>>>>> > of
>>>>>>>>>bullshit. Do
>>>>>>>>> > you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you
>>>>>>>>> > and
>>>>>>>>>everyone you
>>>>>>>>> > send "his" email to money? How stupid are you? So
>>>>>>>>> > basically,
>>>>>>>>>this
>>>>>>>>>message is
>>>>>>>>> > a big FUCK YOU to all the people out there who have
>>>>>>>>> > nothing
>>>>>>>>>better to do
>>>>>>>>> > than to send me stupid chain mail forwards.
>>>>>>>>> >
>>>>>>>>> > Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my
>>>>>>>>>apartment
>>>>>>>>> > and sodomize me in my sleep for not continuing the chain
>>>>>>>>> > which
>>>>>>>>>was
>>>>>>>>> > started by Jesus in 5 A.D. and was brought to this country
>>>>>>>>> > by
>>>>>>>>>midget
>>>>>>>>> > pilgrims on the Mayflower and if it makes it to the year
>>>>>>>>> > 2000,
>>>>>>>>>it'll be in
>>>>>>>>> > the Guinness Book of World Records for longest continuous
>>>>>>>>> > streak
>>>>>>>>>of blatant
>>>>>>>>> > stupidity. Fuck them.
>>>>>>>>> >
>>>>>>>>> > If you're going to forward something, at least send me
>>>>>>>>> > something mildly amusing. I've seen all the "send this to
>>>>>>>>> > 50 of your
closest
>>>>>>>>>friends,
>>>>>>>>> > and this poor, wretched excuse for a sense of humor will
>>>>>>>>> > maybe
>>>>>>>>>reach around
>>>>>>>>> > the world" -mails, so hump me sideways if I give a shit.
>>>>>>>>> >
>>>>>>>>> > Show a little intelligence and think about what you're
>>>>>>>>> > actually contributing to. Chances are it's your own
>>>>>>>>> > unpopularity and a
>>>>>>>>>pityfully low
>>>>>>>>> > level of humor.
>>>>>>>>> >
>>>>>>>>> > THE FOUR BASIC TYPES OF CHAIN LETTERS:
>>>>>>>>> >
>>>>>>>>> > Chain Letter Type 1:
>>>>>>>>> >
>>>>>>>>> > (scroll down)
>>>>>>>>> >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > Make a wish!!!
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > >No, really, go on and make one!!!
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > >Oh please, they'll never go out with you!!!
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > >Wish something else!!!
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > >Not that, you pervert!!
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > >Is your finger getting tired yet?
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > >STOP!!!!
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > >Wasn't that fun? :)
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > >
>>>>>>>>> > > > > > >Hope you made a great wish :)
>>>>>>>>> >
>>>>>>>>> > Now, first of all, to make you feel guilty, if you don't
>>>>>>>>> > send
this
>>>>>>>>>to 42
>>>>>>>>> > people in the next 5 seconds, you will be raped by a mad
>>>>>>>>> > goat
>>>>>>>>>and
>>>>>>>>>fall off a
>>>>>>>>> > high building into a pile of manure. It's true!
>>>>>>>>> > Because, THIS letter isn't like all of those fake ones,
>>>>>>>>> > THIS one
>>>>>>>>>is
>>>>>>>>> > TRUE!! Really!!!
>>>>>>>>> > And here is a forecast:
>>>>>>>>> > *Send this to 1 person: One person will be pissed off at
>>>>>>>>> > you for sending them a stupid chain letter. *Send this to
>>>>>>>>> > 2-5 people: 2-5 people will be pissed off at you
>>>>>>>>>for
>>>>>>>>> > sending them a stupid chain letter, and talk about it.
>>>>>>>>> > *Send this to 5-10 people: 5-10 people will be pissed off
>>>>>>>>> > at you
>>>>>>>>>for
>>>>>>>>> > sending them a stupid chain letter, and rumours start
>>>>>>>>> > spreading
>>>>>>>>>about your
>>>>>>>>> > dim wits and lacking sense of quality intelligence.
>>>>>>>>> > *Send this to 10-20 people: 10-20 people will be pissed
>>>>>>>>> > off at
>>>>>>>>>you
>>>>>>>>> > for sending them a stupid chain letter, team up and freeze
>>>>>>>>> > you
out
>>>>>>>>>from
>>>>>>>>> > their cirkle of friends.
>>>>>>>>> > Thanks!!!! Good Luck!!!
>>>>>>>>> >
>>>>>>>>> > -------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>>>>> > Chain Letter Type 2
>>>>>>>>> >
>>>>>>>>> > Hello, and thank you for reading this letter. You see,
>>>>>>>>> > there is
>>>>>>>>>a
>>>>>>>>> > starving little boy in Baklalitatlagumpf who has no arms,
>>>>>>>>> > no legs, no parents, and no goats. This little boy's life
>>>>>>>>> > could be
>>>>>>>>>saved,
>>>>>>>>> > because for every time you pass this on, a dollar will be
>>>>>>>>>donated
>>>>>>>>>to the
>>>>>>>>> > Little Starving Legless Armless Goatless Boy from
Baklalitatlagumf
>>>>>>>>>Fund.
>>>>>>>>> > Oh, despite the fact that we have absolutely no way of
>>>>>>>>> > counting
>>>>>>>>>the emails
>>>>>>>>> > sent oor to whom, which means this is all a complete load
>>>>>>>>> > of
>>>>>>>>>bullshit,
>>>>>>>>> > please go on, and reach out. Send this to 5 people in the
>>>>>>>>> > next
>>>>>>>>>2000 seconds.
>>>>>>>>> > Oh, and a reminder - if you accidentally send this to 4 or
>>>>>>>>> > 6
>>>>>>>>>people instead
>>>>>>>>> > of 5, you will die instantly after being fucked by a steam
>>>>>>>>> >
>>>>>>>>>engine
>>>>>>>>>in the
>>>>>>>>> > fart canal. Got it?
>>>>>>>>> > Thanks again!!
>>>>>>>>> >
>>>>>>>>> > -------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>>>>> > Chain Letter Type 3
>>>>>>>>> >
>>>>>>>>> > Hi there!! This chain letter has been in existence since
>>>>>>>>> > 1897.
>>>>>>>>>This
>>>>>>>>> > is absolutely incredible because there was no email then,
>>>>>>>>> > and
>>>>>>>>>probably
>>>>>>>>> > not as many sad pricks around with nothing better to do
>>>>>>>>> > either.
>>>>>>>>>But this is
>>>>>>>>> > how it works: Pass this on to 15,067 people in the next 7
minutes
>>>>>>>>>or
>>>>>>>>> > something horrible will happen to you like:
>>>>>>>>> >
>>>>>>>>> > *Bizarre Horror Story #1
>>>>>>>>> > Miranda Pinsley was walking home from school on Saturday.
>>>>>>>>> > She
>>>>>>>>>had
>>>>>>>>> > recently received this letter and ignored it. She then
>>>>>>>>> > tripped
>>>>>>>>>in
>>>>>>>>>a
>>>>>>>>> > crack in the sidewalk, fell into the sewer, was gushed
>>>>>>>>> > down a drainpipe in a flood of poopie, and went flying out
>>>>>>>>> > over a
>>>>>>>>>waterfall where
>>>>>>>>> > she landed face down on a sharp stick. Not only did she
>>>>>>>>> > smell
>>>>>>>>>nasty, she
>>>>>>>>> > really died too. This Could Happen To You!!!
>>>>>>>>> >
>>>>>>>>> > *Bizarre Horror Story #2
>>>>>>>>> > Dexter Bip, a 13 year old boy, got a chain letter in his
>>>>>>>>> > mail
>>>>>>>>>and
>>>>>>>>> > ignored it. Later that day, he was hit by a car and so was
>>>>>>>>> > his boyfriend (hey, some people swing that way). They both
>>>>>>>>> > died and
>>>>>>>>>went to hell
>>>>>>>>> > and were cursed to eat adorable kittens every day for
>>>>>>>>> > eternity.
>>>>>>>>>This Too
>>>>>>>>> > really happened, and Could Happen To You!!!
>>>>>>>>> >
>>>>>>>>> > Remember, you could end up just like Pinsley and Bip. Just
>>>>>>>>> > send
>>>>>>>>>this
>>>>>>>>> > letter to all of your loser friends, and everything will
>>>>>>>>> > be
>>>>>>>>>okay.
>>>>>>>>> > -------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>>>>> > Chain Letter Type 4:
>>>>>>>>> >
>>>>>>>>> > As if you care, here is a poem that I wrote. Send it to
>>>>>>>>> > every
>>>>>>>>>one
>>>>>>>>>of
>>>>>>>>> > your friends (or else to some names in the phone book).
>>>>>>>>> > ***Friends*** A friend is someone who is always at your
>>>>>>>>> > side, A friend is someone who likes you even though you
>>>>>>>>> > smell
like
>>>>>>>>>you've
>>>>>>>>> > been eating catfood, A friend is someone who likes you
>>>>>>>>> > even
though
>>>>>>>>>you're as
>>>>>>>>> > plain as a hat full of arseholes, A friend is someone who
>>>>>>>>> > cleans
>>>>>>>>>up for you
>>>>>>>>> > after you've soiled yourself, A friend is someone who
>>>>>>>>> > stays with
>>>>>>>>>you all
>>>>>>>>> > night while you cry about your sad, sad life. A friend is
>>>>>>>>>someone
>>>>>>>>>who
>>>>>>>>> > pretends they like you when they really don't care or even
>>>>>>>>> > think
>>>>>>>>>you deserve
>>>>>>>>> > be raped by drunk elefants and thrown to vicious dogs for
>>>>>>>>> > being
so
>>>>>>>>>pathetic.
>>>>>>>>> > A friend is someone who scrubs your toilet, vacuums and
>>>>>>>>> > then
>>>>>>>>>gets

>>>>>>>>>the cheque >>>>>>>>> > and leaves and doesn't speak much English...-no, sorry
>>>>>>>>> > that's
>>>>>>>>>the
>>>>>>>>>cleaning
>>>>>>>>> > lady.
>>>>>>>>> > A friend is not someone who sends you chain letters
>>>>>>>>> > because he
>>>>>>>>>wants
>>>>>>>>> > his wish of being rich to come true.
>>>>>>>>> >
>>>>>>>>> > Now pass this on, or you'll never get shagged again.
>>>>>>>>> >
>>>>>>>>> > ----------------------------------------------------------
>>>>>>>>> > -
>>>>>>>>> >
>>>>>>>>> > The point being?
>>>>>>>>> >
>>>>>>>>> > If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave
>>>>>>>>> > you
>>>>>>>>>shagless
>>>>>>>>> > or luckless for the rest of your life, delete it.
>>>>>>>>> > Don't piss people off by making them feel guilty about a
>>>>>>>>> > leper
>>>>>>>>>in
>>>>>>>>> > Botswana with no teeth since he was tied to an elephant
>>>>>>>>> > for 27 years, and whose only saviour is the 5 cents per
>>>>>>>>> > letter that he
>>>>>>>>>won't even
>>>>>>>>> > receive even if you forward this mail. Otherwise you'll
>>>>>>>>> > end up
>>>>>>>>>like
>>>>>>>>> > Pinsley'n Bip, right?
>>>>>>>>> >
>>>>>>>>> > Now forward this to everyone you know, or otherwise you'll
>>>>>>>>> > find
>>>>>>>>>all your
>>>>>>>>> > milk gone sour and all your left socks missing by tomorrow
>>>>>>>>>morning, you'll
>>>>>>>>> > get bad grades, have you credicard erased, get fired and
>>>>>>>>> > find a
>>>>>>>>>loved one in
>>>>>>>>> > the arms of someone else, while you get hit by a
>>>>>>>>> > steamtrain over
>>>>>>>>>the edge of
>>>>>>>>> > a falling bridge abducted by UFO's and the commy bastards
>>>>>>>>> > will
>>>>>>>>>take over the
>>>>>>>>> > country.
>>>>>>>>> > Cheers,
>>>>>>>>> >