LIFE'S LAWS
1- Celibacy is not hereditary.
2- Beauty is only skin deep, ugly goes to the bone.
3- If everything seems to be going well, you obviously don’t know what the hell is going on.
4- Never argue with a fool, people might not know the difference.
5- Friends come and go, but enemies accumulate.
6- The other queue always moves faster.
7- Anything you try to fix will take longer and cost more than you thought.
8- The chance of a slice of bread balling butter side down is directly proportional to the cost of the carpet.
9- Never sleep with anyone crazier than yourself.
10- The repairman will never have seen a model quite like yours before.
11- A short cut is the longest distance between two points.
12- Anything good in life is either illegal, immoral or fattening.
13- The light at the end of a tunnel is the headlamp of an oncomming train.
14- The golden rule: whoever has the gold make the rules.
15- No matter how long you shop for an item, once you’ve bought it, it’ll be on sale somewhere else cheaper.
16- In order to get a loan, you must first prove you don’t need it.
MURPHY'S LAW: (ANYTHING THAT CAN GO WRONG, WILL GO WRONG)
1- Anything that can go wrong, will go wrong.
2- Anything that can go wrong will go wrong at the worst possible moment.
3- Even if it can't go wrong, it will go wrong.
